apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
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