So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
