She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize