It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
All I want is dick and wine.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
