Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He better not be in your backpack
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
