? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
