Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
