omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
