I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
