like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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