Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
