I'm drive I can fine osifer
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
