I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
