and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈ðŸ˜
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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