The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
