I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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