i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
there is puke in my bra ... again
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
