I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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