You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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