Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
