There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
