guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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