He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
