and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
