Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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