It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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