In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
