i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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