your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
