the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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