you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
My vagina just clenched in fear
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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