I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I think your dad took our porno
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
