New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
i think i just lost a toe
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
