I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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