Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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