our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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