she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
