Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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