The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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