You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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