Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
