im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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