yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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