So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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