worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
