oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You ate ashes out of my bong
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
