you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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