Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize