3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
