Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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