Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Randomize
