Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
