you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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