Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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