The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
