You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
