I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i just google imaged poop.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize