good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Is it penis luge time yet?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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