It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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