i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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