Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
