I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
