Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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