Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize
